


Sober

by 989fox989



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, M/M, blood mention, death mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:28:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24884587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/989fox989/pseuds/989fox989
Summary: Gamzee runs out of sopor slime.  What sort of wacky misadventures will he encounter next? HONK
Relationships: Gamzee Makara/Tavros Nitram
Kudos: 36





	Sober

Karkat Vantas and Terezi Pyrope were on the Land of Pulse and Haze fighting imps when Karkat's computer pinged.

"Fucking hell!" Karkat yelled, "that's the fifteenth ping! Who the hell keeps messaging me?"

"You should probably answer it," said Terezi.

"fuck that, it's probably just Eridan complaining about something stupid, or Nepeta looking for someone to RP with. Whatever it is, it's not worth my time."

The computer pinged again.

"Damn fucking shit! Fine, whatever! Who the fuck is this asshole!" He jammed his sickle into an imp's skull and then got onto his computer

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
TC: HhEy BrO  
TC: cAn YoU mAyBe  
TC: UhH  
TC: hElP a BrOtHeR oUt  
TC: HoNk  
TC: UmM yOu ThErE bRo  
TC: IiIi ReAlLy Uh Do NeEd SoMe HeLp  
TC: ThInGs ArE gEtTiNg RrReAlLy BbAd AnD iM  
TC: uHhHh  
TC: ReAlLy NeEd YoUrR hElP rIgHt NoW  
TC: hOnK hOnK  
TC: mOtHeRfUcK, bRo PlEaSe Im BeGgInG yOu  
TC: I mEsSaGeD tAvBrO bUt He'S oFf WiTh SpIdErSiS aNd I dOnT kNoW wHo ElSe To TuRn To  
TC: HoNk  
TC: FfFfUcKk  
TC: KaRkAt PlEaSe  
CG: YEAH FUCK DUDE IM HERE.  
CG: WHAT DO YOU NEED?  
TC: uMmM  
TC: I gOt ThIs CaRd AnD iM tRyInG tO aLl Up AnD aLcHeMiZe It BuT i CaNt ReAd ThE nUmBeRs On ThE bAcK  
CG: SERIOUSLY DUDE?  
TC: I tRiEd To ReAd BuT tHe LeTtErS aRe AlL oVeR tHe PlAcE aNd DiFfErEnT cOlOrS  
TC: lIkE a MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLe  
TC: HoNk  
TC: BuT jUsT lIkE tHoSe MiRtHfUl PlAtEs KePt In ThE cOmIcAlLy LaRgE tOp HaT oF tHe MeSsIaH's  
TC: ThIs MiRaClE iS iNdErEaDaBlE tO a LoWlY dIsCiPlE sUcH aS mYsElF  
TC: hOnK hOnK )o:  
CG: FUCKING HELL.  
CG: FINE.  
CG: TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR CODE AND I'LL READ IT FOR YOU.  
TC: uMmM  
TC: fUcCk  
TC: HoW dO i TaKe A pIcTuRe  
CG: FUCK DUDE...  
CG: OKAY.  
CG: I CAN SEE YOU ON THE VIDEO CHAT.  
CG: TAKE OUT THE CARD AND HOLD IT UP.  
TC: FuCk BrOtHeR  
TC: yOuR tHe SmArTeSt MoThErFuCkEr I eVeR dOnE mEeT  
TC: iS tHiS gOoD  
CG: NO.  
CG: YOU'RE HOLDING IT THE WRONG WAY.  
CG: YOU NEED TO FLIP  
CG: WAIT?  
CG: IS THAT FUCKING SOPOR SLIME?  
CG: HOLY FUCK DUDE.  
CG: YOU DAMN ASSHOLE!  
CG: I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED A NEW WEAPON!  
CG: OR A ROCKET POWERED CLOWN CAR!  
CG: OR ANYTHING ELSE TO HELP US WIN THIS FUCKING GAME!  
CG: I'M NOT GOING TO HELP YOU FEED YOUR DRUG ADDICTION!  
CG: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.  
CG: CALL ME WHEN YOU HAVE A REAL EMERGENCY.  
TC: FfFuCk BrO  
TC: i NeEd ThAt ShIt  
TC: Im UmMmM  
TC: nOt ThInKiNg RiGhT  
TC: eVeRyThInG iS fUzZy  
TC: AnD uMmM  
TC: uMmMmMhNnHjInNkNiB  
CG: FUCKING HELL, YOU’RE A MESS.  
CG: GET SOBER DUDE.  
CG: IF YOU WANT YOUR HEAD TO FEEL SLIGHTLY LESS LIKE MUSHY GOAT SHIT  
CG: THEN STOP INGESTING THAT GROSS SLIME.  
TC: bRo  
TC: DoNt LeAvE mE  
TC: hNoK  


_Well, that was fucking worthless_ , Karkat thought to himself.

* * *

A young boy stands alone in his bedroom. His head is fuzzy and his stomach is empty. This young boy's name is Gamzee Makara. Gamzee shook his head and scoured his house in search of a wayward pie. After an hour of searching, Gamzee triumphantly found a single drop of slime on the ground. He slammed to the ground and licked the floor furiously.

"Motherfuck"

Gamzee got on his computer and attempted to send a message to Equius, but he misclicked and sent a message to himself instead.

CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC] began trolling PAST terminallyCapricious [PTC]  
CTC: cAn YoU hElP a MoThErFuCkEr OuT  
PTC: HoNk  
CTC: wHaT tHe FuCk  
PTC: hEy ThErE mY iNvErTeBrOtHeR  
CTC: YoU fEeLiN aLrIgHt HoRsE bRo  
CTC: nEvEr KnOwN yOu To HoNk At A mOtHeRfUcKeR  
CTC: NoT tHaT iM cOmPlAiNtIn Or UhHh WhAtEvEr  
CTC: fAr Be It FrOm Me To TeLl A mOtHeRfUcKeR wHeN hE cAn HoNk  
PTC: hElLs YeAh My BrO  
CTC: YyYwEaH  
CTC: I uHhHh NeEdD sOmE hElP nD sTuUf  
PTC: aW yEaH, iM aLwAyS wIlLiNg To HeLp A mOtHeRfUcKeR oUt  
CTC: dO yOu No ThE cOdE fOr A sLiMe PiE aLcHeMy  
PTC: fUcK dUdE  
PTC: I dOnT kNoW aNy Of ThE cOdEs  
PTC: bUt IvE gOt A sLiMe PiE rIgHt NeXt To Me  
PTC: iTs ThE lAsT oNe So I sHoUlD sAvE iT  
PTC: BuT i GuEsS i CoUlD eAt It NoW  
CTC: WhAt  
CTC: fUcK nO hOrSe BrO  
CTC: I nEeD yOu To GiVe Me ThE pIe  
CTC: eQuIuS  
CTC: HONK  
CTC: i need you to give me that motherfucking pie  
CTC: RIGHT FUCKING NOW!  
CTC: honk  
CTC: HoNk  


Gamzee shook his head. _Motherfucking Equius, bastard will never help you. HE'LL ONLY TELL YOU YOU'RE MOTHERFUCKING WORTHLESS!_ Gamzee thinks to himself

"Awwww man. Motherfucking shits getting worse… ummmm… fuck. I'llll ummm… I'll talk to Tavbro."

Gamzee walked outside and stared at the purple circular designs floating above his house

"fuck… which one is Tavbro's?"

Gamzee's tablet pinged

FUTURE terminallyCapricious [FTC] began trolling CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC]  
FTC: HEY THERE MOTHERFUCKER  
CTC: KaRkaAt  
CTC: BrO iS tHaT mOtHeRfUcKiNg YoU  
FTC: do i look like motherfucking karkat  
CTC: uHh  
FTC: TALKING TO KARKAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA THOUGH  
FTC: ill have to pay my best friend a visit i guess  
FTC: HONK  
CTC: HoNk  


  
terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]  
TC: TaV aRe YoU tHeRe  
TC: IvE rUn OuT a SlImE  
TC: aGaIn  
TC: Im ScArEd BrO  
TC: i CaN fEeL mY bRaIn ChAnGiNg BrO  
TC: i DoNt LiKe ThE cHaNgEs BrO  
TC: hOnK  
TC: hOnK  
TC: dO yOu ReMeMbEr ThE lAsT tImE i RaN oUt Of SlImE  
TC: cOuRsE yOu Do  
TC: HoW cAn YoU fOrGeT  
TC: i DoNt ReMeMbEr ThE dEtAiLs  
TC: I jUsT rEmEmBeR wAkInG uP cOvErEd In BlOoD  
TC: A mOtHeR fUcKiNg RaInBoW oF cOlOrS oN mY hAnDs  
TC: It WaS sO mOtHeRfUcKiNg BeAuTiFuL  
TC: you could even say it was  
TC: MOTHERFUCKING MIRACULOUS  
TC: BuT tHeN i MoThEr FuCkInG sAw YoU tAv  
TC: YoU lOoKeD sO fUcKiNg TeRrIfIeD :o(  
TC: aNd ThEn I wAlKeD pAsT tHe CoRpSeS oF tRoLlS, eAtInG tHe SlImE pIe YoU pUt InTo My HaNdS  
TC: NoW iTs FuCkInG hApPeNiNg AgAiN  
TC: AnD i DoNt KnOw WhAt To MoThErFuCkInG dO  
TC: I dOnT wAnT tO hUrT aNoThEr TrOlL aGaIn  
TC: I dOnT wAnT tO hUrT yOu TaVrOs  
TC: honk  
TC: HONK  
TC: honk  
TC: MoThErFuCk  
TC: PlEaSe TaV  
TC: pPlEaSe TeLl Me YoU hAvE sOmE sLiMe  
TC: TaV  
TC: HONK  
TC: tavros  
TC: IF YOU WONT GIVE ME ANY SLIME  
TC: then ill  
TC: ILL  
TC: honk  
TC: MoThErFuCkEr  
TC: HoNk  
TC: HONK  
TC: honk  


In a daze, Gamzee went to send another message to Equius

CURRENT TerminallyCapricious [CTC] began trolling PAST terminallyCapricious [PTC]  
CTC: HEY THERE MOTHERFUCKER  
PTC: KaRkaAt  
PTC: BrO iS tHaT mOtHeRfUcKiNg YoU  
CTC: do i look like motherfucking karkat  
PTC: uHh  
CTC: TALKING TO KARKAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA THOUGH  
CTC: ill have to pay my best friend a visit i guess  
CTC: HONK  
PTC: HoNk  


_motherfucking dumbassery_

Gamzee went outside and saw Aradia standing outside his house holding a slime pie.

“I brought you a pie Gamzee” Aradia monotonically stated

“Honk. FUCK YEAH BITCH. Give me some of that delicious sopor. GIVE IT TO ME! Honk.”

“I see, I’ll need to make a report on ‘r0ad t0 the und0ing’, it seems I arrived a few minutes too late. This timeline is now doomed, goodbye Gamzee.”

“STOP TRYING TO CONFUSE ME GOATSIS!” Gamzee rushed at Aradia with one of his juggling pins, but she disappeared in a flash of clockwork, taking the pie with her.

Gamzee jumped through one of the gates, then continued to jump through gates searching for Karkat. One of the areas he ended up in was bright and white and hurt his eyes. He looked around and saw Nepeta Leijon.

“Catsis,” Gamzee mumbled to himself and jumped off the building and ran towards her.

“Oh, hey Gamzee!” The ever cheery Nepeta called out as she saw her friend.

“HEY THERE YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH! Where the fuck is your motherfucking moirail? I HAVE SOME WORDS I NEED TO SAY TO HIM!”

Nepeta was taken aback, Gamzee was not known for shouting.

“Gamzee are you feline alright? You seem upset, did something catpen?”

“I’m feeling motherfucking fantastic. JUST NEED TO HASH SOME THINGS OUT WITH EQUIUS”

Nepeta rolled her eyes, “Paw man, what did he do? If you want I can talk to him. I keep telling him he needs to work on his social skills but he insists that his sociability is ‘100% perfect’.” She said, quoting her moirail.

“Motherfucker ate an entire slime pie and didn’t share a single bite with me. HONK”

“That… doesn’t sound like Equius…”

“You don’t think that rude ass motherfucker wouldn’t perform a rudeness in my direction?”

“I just don’t think Equius would eat a pie made of sopurr… or anything else made of that stuff.” Nepeta shrugged.

“YOU CALLING ME A MOTHERFUCKING LIAR!?” Gamzee’s eyes turned red as he advanced menacingly towards Nepeta.

Nepeta stood her ground, “Gamzee, I don’t know what happened but I think you’re confused. Now I’d like you to leave purrlease.”

“You’re a bitch ass motherfucker for defending that shitty bag of sweat. HONK. Honk”

Nepeta bristled at Gamzee’s comments.

“Don’t talk about my meowrail like that. I know he can be creepy, but he’s a really nice guy if people would just make an effort to get to know him.”

“MAYBE YOU’RE THE ONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW HIM! Doesn’t know the bigoted shit he’s capable of. HONK” He pulled out one of his clubs.

Nepeta sighed and crossed her arm, “he does have that purreoccupation with the hemeowspectrum. It’s so dumb! I keep trying to convince him it’s all bullshit, but he just says ‘Nepeta language’ and never listens to me anyways. I’ve been meaning to have a long serious feelings jam about that eventually. If you don’t mind me asking, what specifically did he say to you, so I know what to say to him? I didn’t think he’d act that way towards you? Aren’t you the highest one on the hemeowspectrum? Besides Ampurra and Fefurry, but they’re sea dwellers so apparently they don’t count?”

“That’s just the motherfucking problem catsis. MOTHERFUCKING BITCH COMES AT ME, TELLING ME ABOUT HOW HIGH MY BLOOD IS. And also about how low I am. EVERY DAY THAT MOTHERFUCKER MESSAGED ME TO TELL ME HOW WORTHLESS I AM! How I’m not good enough for someone of my social standing. DON’T KNOW WHAT I MOTHERFUCKING DID TO EARN HIS IRE. ‘Cept maybe be myself.”

“Damn, Gamzee, I had no idea.” Nepeta said taking off her blue cap and fidgeting with it, “I’ll definitely talk to Equius about that.”

“HONK! Heh, thanks catsis, you’re not half bad I guess. HONK! I won’t take up any more of your motherfucking time. I’LL GO BOTHER SOME OTHER TROLL, MAYBE TALK TO KARKAT. Honk.”

And with that, Gamzee ran off with surprising speed. Nepeta chewed her hat, Gamzee certainly was an odd fellow.

* * *

Gamzee continued to hop from planet to planet searching for Karkat. _Karkat… Motherfucker was rude to me earlier, and now I lost his calm._ Gamzee wanted to be calm again, to quiet the voices in his head, maybe it wasn’t too late. He hadn’t killed anyone yet, and he could still eat a pie and make it all go away. The voices didn’t want him to have any slime though. Going against the voices just made everything worse. Those damn motherfuckers, Karkat and Equius, refusing to give him more of the slime that he needed to be calm. Although the voices seemed happy that Karkat and Equius denied him the sopor, the voices were never truly happy, they only felt Rage. Directionless and destructive. The voices told Gamzee to kill Karkat, to make him suffer.

Gamzee didn’t want to kill Karkat, but maybe he would just make him bleed a little. Gamzee had no idea what color Karkat’s beautiful blood was. Gamzee was terrified and exhilarated, a laugh escaped from his chest.

“Ahahahahahahah. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. What color blood do you all up and have, buddy? WHAT COLORS ARE THE MIRACLES THAT WILL COME POURING OUT OF YOUR WRIST? Honk.”

“G-gamzee?”

Gamzee Makara froze. Oh fuck no. Motherfucking fuck no.

“H-hey Tavros. How you holding up bBUDDY.” Gamzee said, trying to keep his shit together.

“I… um… got your messages.”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

“Then I guess you know what’s going on. HONK! Honk. SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING DOING HERE?! Get the motherfuck away from me Tav. RUN AS FAR AND AS FAST AS YOUR BEAUTIFUL BODY CAN TAKE YOU MOTHERFUCKER.”

“I’m… not going to do that. I--”

“Fucking… SHIT TAV! Don’t you understand? DON’T YOU MOTHERFUCKING UNDERSTAND? I’m dangerous bro. I’M A MOTHERFUCKING HIGHBLOOD. I can’t control the voices. I KNOW YOU’RE TERRIFIED OF ME. As you should motherfucking be. SO WHY WON’T YOU FUCKING RUN AND SAVE YOURSELF!?”

“Because… I’m not afraid of you. I mean… maybe a little, but I’m kind of afraid of everybody, but I’m trying to be more confident, so that also means being less afraid. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not any more afraid of you than I am of anyone else, probably less than others… I think.”

“Motherfucker. FUCK! Honk. THAT’S A MOTHERFUCKING LIE YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH. Honk. HONK. Honk. YOU READ MY MESSAGES AND YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT DAY. Of course you know. YOU WERE MOTHERFUCKING THERE, MOTHERFUCKER! I saw you scared out of your head sponge. HONK! If you hadn’t fed me the pie in time… FUCK! Honk. HONK. honk honk. MOTHERFUCKER. I could have killed you motherfucker. I DON’T MOTHERFUCKING WANT TO DO THAT! Honk. I ALREADY HATE THE FACT THAT I SCARED YOU. If I had hurt you any worse… I’D HAVE KILLED MYSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS MISERABLE GAME!

“Okay… that’s um… a lot… sorry… um… you really don’t remember what happened that day do you?”

“I remember enough. HONK!”

“I was scared, but not of you. Gamzee… those trolls were trying to kill me for being a disabled lowblood. You saved my life Gamzee.”

“Motherfucking what?”

Gamzee was reeling. He tried to dredge up memories of that day. They were still so blurry.

“Umm… I know that you have your issues… and I know that you self medicate, which is probably really unhealthy and dangerous… but I don’t actually know if it is or what. I never said anything about that day because you seemed really upset… I didn’t know that you couldn’t remember what happened… I would have told you everything if I had known sooner… so I’m um… really sorry for that bro.”

“TAVROS! You don’t have anything to feel sorry about my invertebrother. FUCK! I think I remember bits of that day. HONK! But killing those trolls… IT’S LIKE MY THINKPAN NEVER RECORDED THAT SHIT! Honk.”

“Do you want to maybe… come into my hive, we can eat sandwiches like we used to when we were grubs. Maybe slam a little.”

“THAT SOUNDS MOTHERFUCKING RIGHTEOUS BROTHER! But what about the slime? I MOTHERFUCKING NEED THAT FUCKING SOPOR! Honk.”

“D-do you? Sorry, I don’t really understand what you’re going through, but I think you’re strong enough to survive without eating… um… sleeping goo.”

“YOU DON’T MOTHERFUCKING UNDERSTAND BRO! Don’t motherfucking understand… I HAVE THESE GODDAMN VOICES IN MY HEAD. Honk. HONK. I need to get rid of them bro. I NEED THEM FUCKING GONE BEFORE I ENTER ANOTHER FUGUE STATE. Even if I wouldn’t kill you… THERE’S STILL 10 OTHER TROLLS WHO ARE AT RISK OF MY UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE.”

“Rage…?” Tavros muttered under his breath, “Gamzee, what if you… um… went god tier? Becoming god tier seemed to help Vriska deal with her bad luck. Maybe it will help you deal with your… um… rage? Because as a Bard of Rage you would control Rage… or something… It’s probably dumb but--”

“Honk. HONK. Honk. HONK.” Gamzee continued to honk uncontrollably. After a straight minute of honking, he returned to speaking. “Tavros. YOU’RE A MOTHERFUCKING GENIUS BRO! Honk. HONK. Honk. FUCK! Honk. I’M SO EXCITED TAV, LET’S GO STRAIGHT TO MY PLANET AND DO THIS SHIT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. Honk!”

“Okay… I’m um… glad you’re enthusiastic… I just um… really hope it works… and I didn’t just get your hopes up for nothing.”

“FUCK BROTHER! No such thing as hope for nothing. LET’S MOTHERFUCKING DO THIS SHIT MY INVERTABROTHER!”

* * *

Gamzee and Tavros stood on the rim outside of his quest recuperacoon.

“HERE WE FUCKING ARE BROTHER! So I just… throw myself down there?”

“Basically. I think you also have to be… ready to die, like you need to accept your death. Sorry if that’s too much for you, I know I could never be ready.”

“NEVER SAY NEVER BRO” Gamzee jumped and fell all the way down to the bottom which he slammed into with a sickening crunch. Tavros averted his eyes, he didn’t dare look. He was about to go to sleep and wake up on Propsit, where he would then be able to fly to Skaia and hopefully meet up with Gamzee. Unless he made a terrible mistake and Gamzee didn’t go god tier and was instead dead. Tavros was finding it hard to go to sleep.

Right as he was about to call Vriska and ask her to put him to sleep, he heard something.

“Oh no… was that…?” It was. The noise Tavros was hearing was a series of pained honks. Tavros looked down into the recuperacoon, filled with revulsion. At the bottom, he saw Gamzee lying on the floor, in a giant pool of purple blood. Gamzee himself was writhing slightly. Like an insect who had been swatted but was still alive for some horrific reason.

“Oh… fuck… not again.”

Tavros got in his hovercar and flew to the bottom of the recuperacoon.

“Gamzee… I’m so sorry.”

Gamzee let out a gasping honk.

“Shit… Gamzee… I’m gonna have to… oh no…”

Tavros took out his lance with trepidation. _Okay,_ he thought to himself, _You can be brave Rufioh, you just need to do this one thing._ He stared into Gamzee’s pitiful eyes, the eyes he loved so much. He couldn’t do it, after all this time, he was still too weak.

“I’m sorry… Gamzee… I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Gamzee, with great effort, stood up on broken legs, part of his bone was sticking out, but he still somehow managed to walk over to Tavros who was now crying. Gamzee put his hand on Tavros’s shoulder.

“I believe in you bro.” He gasped out.

Tavros made a choking sob and raised his lance. What happened next might have been due to Gamzee’s words of encouragement, or might have happened due to a primitive use of Gamzee’s powers as the destroyer of discord, or possibly due to both. Regardless, Tavros found strength and courage within himself. Tears Streaking down his face, Tavros shoved the lance forward, penetrating his best friend’s body. He tore the lance up, splitting Gamzee’s upper body completely in half down the center. Gamzee fell to the ground. Dead. Tavros left the recuperacoon and immediately fainted as the structure exploded behind him.

* * *

Gamzee awoke on Skaia

The voices… they were still there, but Gamzee could _silence them_. He could not destroy the voices outright, but he could neutralize their effect, he could destroy their ability to ever affect him or anyone else.

“Motherfucking miracle.” Gamzee sobbed. His head was clear. Clearer then it had ever been in his entire life. He floated around skaia with his new motherfucking wings. He looked over and saw Tavros in his prospit garb flying quickly towards.

Tavros called out, “Oh thank heavens you’re okay… It actually worked… Holy shit.”

Tavros and Gamzee stared at each other, floating, both of their eyes were leaking tears. As if following an unspoken agreement, they both broke out of their reverie at the same time, rushing into each other’s arms. And together, the two best bros for life kissed each other.

* * *

AT: dO YOU REALLY THINK, i SHOULD, uM, gO GOD TIER,  
TC: im just saying it can’t hurt my mirthful matesprit  
TC: but whatever choice you make  
TC: i need you to know  
TC: I LOVE AND MOTHERFUCKING RESPECT YOU BRO  
AT: yEAH, i KNOW THAT,  
AT: iLL THINK ABOUT, uM, dOING IT,  
TC: thats motherfucking cool bro  
TC: we still on for our date later on today  
AT: yOU FUCKING KNOW IT, bRO,  
TC: FUCK YES BRO!  
TC: LET US DRINK TO THIS RIGHTEOUS MIRTH!  
TC: honk honk honk  


  
Gamzee slammed a faygo, as he continued typing. He continued to alternate between all caps and all lowercase, but he no longer alternated according to some rigid unknown will, he did so when he _wanted to_. Gamzee walked with his computer. He wasn’t sure which planet he was on right now, but the planet was fucking miraculous in its own right. He came across a hive and entered it

“ANYONE MOTHERFUCKING HOME?” He called out. He walked up the stairs and found Kanaya sitting on a balcony drinking tea. “Hey there sis.”

“Hello Gamzee, I’m just enjoying a nice period of calm amidst all the hubbub this game seems to cause.” She looked out towards the shining blue horizon wistfully.

“Fuck yeah, I understand that shit sis. Calm away all of those nasty bad vibes.”

He walked onto the balcony. He stood for a bit when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. It was a strange peach-colored doll-like thing wearing a green suit and bow tie. Gamzee stared deeply into the doll’s piercing blue eyes and it whispered to him.

_My hideous disciple_

_This world is horrible_

_Kill_

_Them_

_All_

_I can tell you so much about yourself_

_Gamzee Makara_

_Your true role in this story_

_Your eventual fate_

_I can even tell you that the true identity of your Mirthful Messiahs are--_

Gamzee grabbed the doll and drop kicked it to the outer reaches of the Furthest Ring.

Kanaya gasped, “Gamzee! What are you--”

“NO MORE MOTHERFUCKING VOICES IN ANYONE’S HEAD. I WON’T ALLOW ANY MORE OF THAT DISRUPTIVE SHIT.”

“Gamzee… are you feeling alright?”

“Never fucking better sis.” He noticed a clock inside of Kanaya’s hive. “Oh shit! I’ve got a motherfucking date all up and happening in a hour! Quick Motherfucker! WHAT’S THE FASTEST WAY TO TAVROS’S HIVE?”

Kanaya gave him directions, it took several repetitions, but Gamzee finally figured it out and got on his motherfucking way.


End file.
